Salad Is Slaughter

Satanic Cults Suing Scott Peterson

An organization of Satanic cults filed suit in Modesto, California this week against Scott Peterson and his legal team for defamation. Peterson and his lawyers have recently claimed that Peterson’s wife Laci was ritualistically murdered and butchered by a Satanic cult.

“We are outraged at these allegations,” said cult spokesman Kevin Hayes. “Sure, we worship the Dark Lord. But actually kill someone? The FBI would be on our ass in a heartbeat. Heaven, who do you think we are? Anti-abortion protesters? Most of the time we just sit around and play poker, watch Monday Night Football and slam some brews.  This Satanic Cult Defense proposed by Peterson’s team is downright offensive.”

Cult priestess Sarah Reinhurst was equally incensed. “That murder happened around the Christian holidays, didn’t it? We were much too busy at that time to do anything like a ritual killing. We had a Low Black Mass to prepare for, robes to mend, and our annual bake sale was coming up. Donations have been down recently and we had to make up the shortfall.”

Cult member and ROCKHARD Records CEO Doug Gillman was also angry about the charges. “I’ve got Satanic parishioners spending 12 to 14 hours a day embedding Satanic messages into rock and rap recordings. It takes a lot of work to put effective backward messages into those songs. When would we have the time to kill someone? Besides, I know of no Satanic cult that’s ever killed anyone. The most that anyone has done is tie a can to a puppy’s tail.”

Scott Peterson and his legal team were unwilling to comment on the pending legal action.

Missy Enformed on 5/21/2003 1:32:48 PM

When I conduct a job interview, one of my favorite questions is, “what is the last book you’ve read?” I’ll have to add another question to my list.

At Tuesday’s Sharks/Kings game, I was talking to a friend of mine and he was complaining about all of the interviewing he has to do with entry level candidates. He asks each one of them the following question: “What do you do if you deliver a product and the customer doesn’t like it?” The recent graduates’ answer is invariably the same: change the product so the customer likes it.

Wrong. The real answer is below the fold.
Read the rest of this entry »

Mango Salsa Recipe

One mango, diced.
One avocado, diced.
A couple tablespoons finely diced red onions.
One jalapeno, finely diced.
Two tablespoons of lime juice.

Mix well and refrigerate for an hour or two.

Island Christian leaders: Ban Elton John

Pop singer Elton John should be banned from performing at a jazz festival in Tobago because his homosexuality could influence young people, some Christian leaders on the Caribbean island said Monday.

Your church is your own private club, so you can ban whoever you want for any reason. But what gives you the right to ban someone from your country? If someone wants to see a concert, who are you to try and stop them? Or is it that you’re afraid that the influence his homosexuality might have on the young people is to point out to them that they are still people?

“We feel it can have a negative social impact. There are some who may not be sure of their sexuality and one has to be careful about how this can create impressions on impressionable minds,” pastor Terrance Baynes told Reuters Monday.

This has got to be one of the most stupid comments ever made. I’ve been to an Elton John concert, and not once did he try to convert anyone to his sexual orientation.

Judge: 2 Iowa Laws Against Flag Desecration Unconstitutional

Last spring, Scott Roe, of Ottumwa, turned an American flag upside-down and stenciled over it to help express his displeasure with city government. Last summer, Wayne County farmer Dale Klyn flew his flag upside-down to protest a bankruptcy judgment and also mental health care for military veterans.

They both ended up in court, because Iowa laws forbid the mistreatment and desecration of flags.

Sounds to me like someone in the Midwest understands that freedom of speech means that you have to defend speech you might personally find offensive. I like this decision. Or to put it another way:

One of the very first things that Hitler did upon seizing power in Germany was ban the burning of the German flag; the punishment was imprisonment. In China, where we all watched the student protestors at Tianenman Square burn the Chinese flag, their actions result in a minimum of 3 years in prison. The other two nations that punish those who burn their flag at the moment: Cuba and Iran.
- Ed Brayton, Dispatches from the Culture Wars

In a nutshell:  laws that ban flag burning are un-American.

Italian bishops spark gay vote row

A directive by Italian bishops ordering Catholic politicians to vote against gay rights legislation has caused a political uproar and prompted fresh charges of Church interference in domestic affairs.

Two weeks ago, Pope Benedict said the Church’s opposition to gay marriage was “non-negotiable” and that Catholic politicians had a duty to oppose it.

In the past, organized religions have opposed to ending slavery and granting equal rights for women, so trying to promote more discrimination comes as no surprise. Like I said in my comments on the first story, you can keep anyone out of your private club that you want, but I have to object when you try to coerce politicians to vote a certain way because your invisible friend who lives in the sky finds something offensive.

Before Bill Guerin did it this season, the last player to score a hat trick for and against the same team in the same season was Teemu Selanne in 2000-01. Like Guerin, Selanne also did it for and against the Sharks.

Last night I was going to make celery root soup from a recipe that Janet found a couple of weeks ago in one of her magazines, but somewhere along the way it disappeared. Since I had all the ingredients handy, I took this one from Food Network and added fennel bulbs. I didn’t complete the recipe; I’ll add the cream tonight and we’ll eat it for dinner.

I’ve accepted wine with screw tops, but I’ll never accept this.

I’ve started reading a fantasy novel, and so far I like the novel Duck Blood Soup that Jim and I wrote better.  Note to Jim:  I have an idea for a short story prequel that we can send to the Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction.  I’ll try to get the outline and some paragraphs done this weekend.  I’ll also create an FTP directory for our work.