Salad Is Slaughter

A Gluttonous Curmudgeon and “D” List Blogger

July 2nd, 2008

Funeral Songs

Australians making odd choices for funeral songs

Hymns are being replaced at funerals in one Australian city by popular rock classics like Led Zeppelin’s “Stairway to Heaven” and AC/DC’s “Highway to Hell,” a cemetery manager said Wednesday.

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Among other less conventional choices were “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life” by the Monty Python comedy team, “Ding Dong the Witch is Dead,” “Hit the Road Jack,” “Another One Bites the Dust” and “I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead.”

I do like “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life” but I’m leaning toward Rush with either Dreamline or Roll the Bones from the album Roll the Bones.

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May 21st, 2008

Boy band creator sentenced to 25 years in prison

Boy band creator sentenced to 25 years in prison

Lou Pearlman, the man who created the Backstreet Boys and ‘N Sync, was sentenced Wednesday to 25 years in federal prison

Surprisingly, it wasn’t because he created the Backstreet Boys and ‘N Sync. I’d have sent him to prison for those crimes against humanity.

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February 9th, 2007

The internet. It’s not just for porn anymore.

I got an email from a frustrated Janet this morning. Her iPod had locked up and she couldn’t get it to play. I did a quick google search on “ipod freezes” and got back a ton of results. I sent her this:

…if it freezes again try holding the menu + the SELECT button for a few seconds and it should reset.

And this:

Toggle the Hold switch on and off. (Slide it to Hold, then turn it off again.)

Press and hold the Menu and Select buttons until the Apple logo appears, about 6 to 10 seconds. You may need to repeat this step.

Tip: If you are having difficulty resetting your iPod, set it on a flat surface. Make sure the finger pressing the Select button is not touching any part of the click wheel. Also make sure that you are pressing the Menu button toward the outside of the click wheel, and not near the center.

[note: this is the tip that got it unfrozen for me]

If the above steps did not work, try connecting iPod to a power adapter and plug the power adapter into an electrical outlet, or connect iPod to your computer. Make sure the computer is turned on and isn’t set to go to sleep.

And she’s back to listening to music. This internet thing might actually be useful someday.

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September 18th, 2006

Sir Elton John Concert

Saturday Night’s Alright (for Fighting), and it was also the night of the Elton John concert at San Jose’s HP Pavilion arena. When we got to the arena we found that the line to get in was wrapped around the building. Apparently everyone decided to show up 15 minutes before show time.

To get to the end of the line we had to walk past some mentally ill people holding up signs and shouting in to a megaphone about their invisible friend. Or their Hispanic buddy named Jesus, I’m not sure which. I might have thought that they were out on Santa Clara Street because Elton John prefers who-who-dilly over cha-cha, and obviously that makes him an agent of Satan, but I’ve also seen the shouters outside of Sharks games so maybe Elton’s orientation wasn’t an issue as much as there was a crowd waiting to get in. It’s a shame that the mentally ill don’t get the help they need.

I resisted the urge to see if I could send them even further over the edge by shouting something like, “god is make-believe” because an usher at the end of the line pointed out that the line to get in was much shorter at the arena’s north entrance. We walked around to the parking lot and found that the usher hadn’t lied. The lines there were pretty short and we got inside with what we thought was plenty of time.

We stopped at several non-moving lines at various bars set up throughout the arena, and wondered if we’d ever get a drink. We finally found a line that moved at a snail’s pace. This was a vast improvement over what we had seen at other bars, so we got our drinks.

By the time we got to our seat, Sir Elton was already on stage singing his first song. The arena was packed. I don’t think it was quite a sellout because there were several open seats around us, but it was close. The stage set up for the show could only be described as “minimalist.” There was a piano, a keyboard area, two sets of percussion, a guitar, and a bass (the guitar, not the fish). A giant screen hung behind the musicians which displayed low fidelity graphics that went with the songs.

The acoustics in the arena (at least in section 128) on Saturday were awful. Some shows at the arena have acoustic blankets in the upper deck to help cut down on echoes, but the Elton John show didn’t have them; they had bodies to pay for and fill those seats. Sound quality suffered.

Acoustic problems aside, it was a really good show. Sir Elton played and sang songs from the past three decades. About 90 minutes in to the show he played about a half dozen songs from his soon to be released album. I liked the new material, but I can’t really say how much I like them because this was a case where the acoustic issues really hurt. I could tell that they were good songs, but the echoes were distracting. After the new stuff, we went back to the classics.  Rocket Man seemed to go on forever, and I loved it.  Janet was impressed that he sang Goodbye Yellow Brick Road.  Rumor has it he hasn’t done that song live in years.

Sir Elton still has a good voice, but the wear and tear of years of performing are starting to show a little bit. His piano playing is as good as it ever was. Overall, it was a great show, and I would definitely consider seeing him in Las Vegas where the Caesar’s Coliseum is designed for musical performances.

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August 1st, 2006

Random Crap, Mostly News Commentary

I’m still in pain from Saturday’s hike down Four Mile Trail. And while I still have a somewhat elderly gait, I’m moving better than I was.

MTV is 25 years old and who the F cares? They stopped playing music ages ago.

A bunch of writers are pleading with J.K. Rowling not to kill off Harry Potter. Why is this news? Will killing off Harry scar millions of children so badly that they go on a vengeful killing spree. Besides, that series got dull and repetitive three books ago.

The headline “Kansas voters choose between evolution supporters, critics” should be rewritten to “Kansas voters choose between science and fairy tales.”

Speaking of science and fairy tales, why is the story “Museum tells Earth’s history with Bible” showing up in Yahoo science news? You have as much chance of finding good science in the Bible as you do of finding a good crème brulee recipe there.

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