var now=new Date(); var Quote = new Array(); var Source = new Array(); var i = 0; Quote[i] = "Son, if you are going to be a horse's ass, be a Clydesdale"; Source[i] = "Frank Hofer, Sr."; ++i; Quote[i] = "God is my favorite fictional character."; Source[i] = "Homer Simpson"; ++i; Quote[i] = "If at first you don't succeed, give up."; Source[i] = "Homer Simpson"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Prayer has no place in the public schools, just like facts have no place in organized religion."; Source[i] = "Superintendent Chalmers, The Simpsons"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try."; Source[i] = "Homer Simpson"; ++i; Quote[i] = "If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to GIRLS sports, such as hot oil wrestling, foxy boxing, and such and such."; Source[i] = "Homer Simpson"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Y'know, you remind me of a poem I can't remember, and a song that may have never existed, and a place I'm not sure I've ever been to."; Source[i] = "Abe Simpson"; ++i; Quote[i] = "And what if we picked the wrong religion? Every week, we're just making God madder and madder!"; Source[i] = "Homer Simpson"; ++i; Quote[i] = "I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?"; Source[i] = "Homer Simpson"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Me fail English? That's unpossible."; Source[i] = "Ralph Wiggum"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Bart: What religion are you?
Homer: You know, the one with all the well-meaning rules that don't work out in real life. Uh... Christianity."; Source[i] = "The Simpsons"; ++i; Quote[i] = "When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV"; Source[i] = "Homer Simpson"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Alright Brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you. But lets just do this, and I can get back to killing you with beer."; Source[i] = "Homer Simpson"; ++i; Quote[i] = "We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but ended up in tragedy."; Source[i] = "Milhouse Van Houten"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Please do not offer my God a peanut."; Source[i] = "Apu Nahasapeemapetilon"; ++i; Quote[i] = "What good is money if you cannot inspire terror in your fellow man?"; Source[i] = "Montgomery Burns"; ++i; Quote[i] = "To think: I turned to a cult for mindless happiness, when I had beer all along."; Source[i] = "Homer Simpson"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Marge, have you ever actually sat down and read this thing? Technically, we're not even allowed to go to the bathroom."; Source[i] = "Reverend Lovejoy"; ++i; Quote[i] = "The Church receiveth, and the church taketh away."; Source[i] = "Reverend Lovejoy"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives all those sermons at church? Captain What's-his-name?"; Source[i] = "Homer Simpson"; ++i; Quote[i] = "I know the procedure for armed robbery. I do work in a convenience store, you know"; Source[i] = "Apu Nahasapeemapetilon"; ++i; Quote[i] = "English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England."; Source[i] = "Homer Simpson"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time."; Source[i] = "Steven Wright"; ++i; Quote[i] = "The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but 'That's funny ...'"; Source[i] = "Isaac Asimov"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Creationists make it sound as though a 'theory' is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night."; Source[i] = "Isaac Asimov"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Nothing interferes with my concentration. You could put on an orgy in my office and I wouldn't look up. Well, maybe once."; Source[i] = "Isaac Asimov"; ++i; Quote[i] = "If I am right, then [religious fundamentalists] will not go to Heaven, because there is no Heaven. If THEY are right, then they will not go to Heaven, because they are hypocrites."; Source[i] = "Isaac Asimov"; ++i; Quote[i] = "If I were not an atheist, I would believe in a God who would choose to save people on the basis of the totality of their lives and not the pattern of their words. I think he would prefer an honest and righteous atheist to a TV preacher whose every word is God, God, God, and whose every deed is foul, foul, foul."; Source[i] = "Isaac Asimov"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Don't take shit from anyone. Especially yourself."; Source[i] = "Bad Santa"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done and why. Then do it."; Source[i] = "Robert Heinlein"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Progress isn't made by early risers. It's made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something."; Source[i] = "Robert Heinlein"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Everything is theoretically impossible, until it is done."; Source[i] = "Robert Heinlein"; ++i; Quote[i] = "The whole principle [of censorship] is wrong. It's like demanding that grown men live on skim milk because the baby can't have steak."; Source[i] = "Robert Heinlein"; ++i; Quote[i] = "The capacity of the human mind for swallowing nonsense and spewing it forth in violent and repressive action has never yet been plumbed."; Source[i] = "Robert Heinlein"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Violence, naked force, has settled more issues in history than has any other factor, and the contrary opinion is wishful thinking at its worst."; Source[i] = "Robert Heinlein"; ++i; Quote[i] = "That old saw about 'to understand all is to forgive all' is a lot of tripe. Some things, the more you understand them, the more you loathe them."; Source[i] = "Robert Heinlein"; ++i; Quote[i] = "It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion will legislate its creed into law if it acquires the political power to do so, and will follow it by suppressing opposition, subverting all education to seize early the minds of the young, and by killing, locking up, or driving underground all heretics."; Source[i] = "Robert Heinlein"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Never underestimate the power of human stupidity."; Source[i] = "Robert Heinlein"; ++i; Quote[i] = "'God split himself into a myriad parts that he might have friends.' This may not be true, but it sounds good, and is no sillier than any other theology."; Source[i] = "Robert Heinlein"; ++i; Quote[i] = "A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects."; Source[i] = "Robert Heinlein"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Any priest or shaman must be presumed guilty until proved innocent."; Source[i] = "Robert Heinlein"; ++i; Quote[i] = "History does not record anywhere at any time a religion that has any rational basis. Religion is a crutch for people not strong enough to stand up to the unknown without help."; Source[i] = "Robert Heinlein"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Men rarely (if ever) manage to dream up a god superior to themselves. Most gods have the manners and morals of a spoiled child."; Source[i] = "Robert Heinlein"; ++i; Quote[i] = "One man's theology is another man's belly laugh."; Source[i] = "Robert Heinlein"; ++i; Quote[i] = "God is real, unless declared integer."; Source[i] = " "; ++i; Quote[i] = "The most preposterous notion that H. sapiens has ever dreamed up is that the Lord God of Creation, Shaper and Ruler of all the Universes, wants the saccharine adoration of His creatures, can be swayed by their prayers, and becomes petulant if He does not receive this flattery. Yet this absurd fantasy, without a shred of evidence to bolster it, pays all the expenses of the oldest, largest, and least productive industry in all history.
The second most preposterous notion is that copulation is inherently sinful."; Source[i] = "Robert Heinlein"; ++i; Quote[i] = "The Earth is just too small and fragile a basket for the human race to keep all its eggs in."; Source[i] = "Robert Heinlein"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Of all the strange 'crimes' that human beings have legislated of nothing, 'blasphemy' is the most amazing - with 'obscenity' and 'indecent exposure' fighting it out for the second and third place."; Source[i] = "Robert Heinlein"; ++i; Quote[i] = "One could write a history of science in reverse by assembling the solemn pronouncements of highest authority about what could not be done and could never happen."; Source[i] = "Robert Heinlein"; ++i; Quote[i] = "One man's magic is another man's engineering. Supernatural is a null word."; Source[i] = "Robert Heinlein"; ++i; Quote[i] = "The difference between science and the fuzzy subjects is that science requires reasoning while those other subjects merely require scholarship."; Source[i] = "Robert Heinlein"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Theology is never any help; it is searching in a dark cellar at midnight for a black cat that isn't there. Theologians can persuade themselves of anything."; Source[i] = "Robert Heinlein"; ++i; Quote[i] = "When any government, or any church for that matter, undertakes to say to its subjects, This you may not read, this you must not see, this you are forbidden to know, the end result is tyranny and oppression no matter how holy the motives."; Source[i] = "Robert Heinlein"; ++i; Quote[i] = "You can have peace. Or you can have freedom. Don't ever count on having both at once."; Source[i] = "Robert Heinlein"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more."; Source[i] = "Mark Twain"; ++i; Quote[i] = "An American is a person who does things because they haven't been done before."; Source[i] = "Mark Twain"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion - several of them. He is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat if his theology isn't straight."; Source[i] = "Mark Twain"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint."; Source[i] = "Mark Twain"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."; Source[i] = "Mark Twain"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first."; Source[i] = "Mark Twain"; ++i; Quote[i] = "In religion and politics, people's beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination."; Source[i] = "Mark Twain"; ++i; Quote[i] = "In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards."; Source[i] = "Mark Twain"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand."; Source[i] = "Mark Twain"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside."; Source[i] = "Mark Twain"; ++i; Quote[i] = "The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them."; Source[i] = "Mark Twain"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company."; Source[i] = "Mark Twain"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising."; Source[i] = "Mark Twain"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about."; Source[i] = "Mark Twain"; ++i; Quote[i] = "One of the proofs of the immortality of the soul is that myriads have believed it - they also believed the world was flat."; Source[i] = "Mark Twain"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Screw you guys, I'm going home."; Source[i] = "Eric Cartman"; ++i; Quote[i] = "John Edward is the biggest douche in the universe."; Source[i] = "Stan Marsh"; ++i; Quote[i] = "I think the surest sign that there is intelligent life out there in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us."; Source[i] = "Calvin and Hobbes"; ++i; Quote[i] = "'My powerful brain has come up with a topic for my paper.'
'Great.'
'I'll write about the debate over Tyrannosaurs. Were they fearsome predators or disgusting scavengers?'
'Which side will you defend?'
'Oh, I believe they were fearsome predators, definitely.'
'How come?'
'They're so much cooler that way.'"; Source[i] = "Calvin and Hobbes"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Calvin: Do you believe in the devil? You know, a supreme evil being dedicated to the temptation, corruption, and destruction of man?
Hobbes: I'm not sure that man needs the help."; Source[i] = "Calvin and Hobbes"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Calvin: I just read this great science-fiction story. It's about how machines take control of humans and turn them into zombie slaves.
Hobbes: So instead of us controlling machines, they control us? Pretty scary idea.
Calvin: I''ll say...*HEY* What time is it? My TV show is on."; Source[i] = "Calvin and Hobbes"; ++i; Quote[i] = "We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are."; Source[i] = "Calvin and Hobbes"; ++i; Quote[i] = "People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world."; Source[i] = "Calvin and Hobbes"; ++i; Quote[i] = "History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction."; Source[i] = "Calvin and Hobbes"; ++i; Quote[i] = "I have plenty of common sense! I just choose to ignore it."; Source[i] = "Calvin and Hobbes"; ++i; Quote[i] = "No efficiency. No accountability. I tell you, Hobbes, it's a lousy way to run a universe."; Source[i] = "Calvin and Hobbes"; ++i; Quote[i] = "I can't tell if that's funny or really scary."; Source[i] = "Calvin and Hobbes"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Mom and dad say I should make my life an example of the principles I believe in. But every time I do, they tell me to stop it."; Source[i] = "Calvin and Hobbes"; ++i; Quote[i] = "I like maxims that don't encourage behavior modification."; Source[i] = "Calvin and Hobbes"; ++i; Quote[i] = "It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning."; Source[i] = "Calvin and Hobbes"; ++i; Quote[i] = "It wasn't a dark and stormy night.
It should have been, but that's the weather for you. For every mad scientist who's had a convenient thunderstorm just on the night his Great Work is finished and lying on the slab, there have been dozens who've sat around aimlessly under the peaceful stars while Igor clocks up the overtime."; Source[i] = "Gaiman and Pratchett (Good Omens)"; ++i; Quote[i] = "A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores."; Source[i] = "Terry Pratchett"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."; Source[i] = "Terry Pratchett"; ++i; Quote[i] = "...perfectly ordinary books, printed on commonplace paper in mundane ink. It would be a mistake to think that they weren't also dangerous, just because reading them didn't make fireworks go off in the sky. Reading them sometimes did the more dangerous trick of making fireworks go off in the privacy of the reader's brain."; Source[i] = "Terry Pratchett"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Give a man a fire and keep him warm for a day. Light a man on fire and he will be warm for rest of his life."; Source[i] = "Terry Pratchett"; ++i; Quote[i] = "I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it."; Source[i] = "Terry Pratchett"; ++i; Quote[i] = "The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it."; Source[i] = "Terry Pratchett"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Many phenomena - wars, plagues, sudden audits - have been advanced as evidence for the hidden hand of Satan in the affairs of Man, but whenever students of demonology get together the M25 London orbital motorway is generally agreed to be among the top contenders for exhibit A."; Source[i] = "Gaiman and Pratchett (Good Omens)"; ++i; Quote[i] = "God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time."; Source[i] = "Gaiman and Pratchett (Good Omens)"; ++i; Quote[i] = "In the begining there was nothing, and it exploded."; Source[i] = "Terry Pratchett"; ++i; Quote[i] = "People were stupid, sometimes. They thought the Library was a dangerous place because of all the magical books, which was true enough, but what made it really one of the most dangerous places there could ever be was the simple fact that it was a library."; Source[i] = "Terry Pratchett"; ++i; Quote[i] = "That's why it's always worth having a few philosophers around the place. One minute it's all Is Truth Beauty and Is Beauty Truth, and Does A Falling Tree in the Forest Make A Sound if There's No one There to Hear It, and then just when you think they're going to start dribbling one of 'em says, Incidentally, putting a thirty-foot parabolic reflector on a high place to shoot the rays of the sun at an enemy's ships would be a very interesting demonstration of optical principles."; Source[i] = "Terry Pratchett"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Give anyone a lever long enough and they can change the world. It's unreliable levers that are the problem."; Source[i] = "Terry Pratchett"; ++i; Quote[i] = "For animals, the entire universe has been neatly divided into things to
(a) mate with,
(b) eat,
(c) run away from, and
(d) rocks."; Source[i] = "Terry Pratchett"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Stupid men are often capable of things the clever would not dare to contemplate..."; Source[i] = "Terry Pratchett"; ++i; Quote[i] = "'You know what the greatest tragedy is in the whole world?' said Ginger, not paying him the least attention. 'It's all the people who never find out what it is they really want to do or what it is they're really good at. It's all the sons who become blacksmiths because their fathers were blacksmiths. It's all the people who could be really fantastic flute players who grow old and die without ever seeing a musical instrument, so they become bad ploughmen instead. It's all the people with talents who never even find out. Maybe they are never born in a time when it is possible to find out.'"; Source[i] = "Terry Pratchett"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwhile careers in the street- cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack of understanding of this simple fact."; Source[i] = "Terry Pratchett"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Seeing, contrary to popular wisdom, isn't believing. It's where belief stops, because it isn't needed any more."; Source[i] = "Terry Pratchett"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Gods don't like people not doing much work. People who aren't busy all the time might start to think."; Source[i] = "Terry Pratchett"; ++i; Quote[i] = "People who are rather more than six feet tall and nearly as broad across the shoulders often have uneventful journeys. People jump out at them from behind rocks then say things like, Oh. Sorry. I thought you were someone else."; Source[i] = "Terry Pratchett"; ++i; Quote[i] = "They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it's not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance."; Source[i] = "Terry Pratchett"; ++i; Quote[i] = "The pen is mightier than the sword if the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp."; Source[i] = "Terry Pratchett"; ++i; Quote[i] = "SCIENCE: A way of finding things out and then making them work. Science explains what is happening around us the whole time. So does RELIGION, but science is better because it comes up with more understandable excuses when it is wrong. There is a lot more Science than you think."; Source[i] = "Terry Pratchett"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Sometimes it is better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness."; Source[i] = "Terry Pratchett"; ++i; Quote[i] = "The truth isn't easily pinned to a page. In the bathtub of history the truth is harder to hold than soap, and much more difficult to find."; Source[i] = "Terry Pratchett"; ++i; Quote[i] = "It would be a pretty good bet that the gods of a world like this probably do not play chess and indeed this is the case. In fact no gods anywhere play chess. They haven't got the imagination. Gods prefer simple, vicious games, where you Do Not Achieve Transcendence but Go Straight To Oblivion; a key to the understanding of all religions is that a god's idea of amusement is Snakes and Ladders with greased rungs."; Source[i] = "Terry Pratchett"; ++i; Quote[i] = "This is space. It's sometimes called the final frontier. (Except that of course you can't have a *final* frontier, because there'd be nothing for it to be a frontier *to*, but as frontiers go, it's pretty penultimate...)"; Source[i] = "Terry Pratchett"; ++i; Quote[i] = "It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people."; Source[i] = "Gaiman and Pratchett (Good Omens)"; ++i; Quote[i] = "The real world was far too real to leave neat little hints. It was full of too many things. It wasn't by eliminating the impossible that you got at the truth, however improbable; it was by the much harder process of eliminating the possibilities."; Source[i] = "Terry Pratchett"; ++i; Quote[i] = "If you do the job badly enough, sometimes you don't get asked to do it again."; Source[i] = "Calvin and Hobbes"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Oops, I always forget the purpose of competition is to divide people into winners and losers."; Source[i] = "Calvin and Hobbes"; ++i; Quote[i] = "I suppose if we couldn't laugh at things that don't make sense, we couldn't react to a lot of life."; Source[i] = "Calvin and Hobbes"; ++i; Quote[i] = "I don't know which is worse, ...that everyone has his price, or that the price is always so low."; Source[i] = "Calvin and Hobbes"; ++i; Quote[i] = "I understand my tests are popular reading in the teachers' lounge."; Source[i] = "Calvin and Hobbes"; ++i; Quote[i] = "In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."; Source[i] = "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job."; Source[i] = "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much... the wheel, New York, wars, and so on, whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely the dolphins believed themselves to be more intelligent than man for precisely the same reasons."; Source[i] = "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"; ++i; Quote[i] = "There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarrely inexplicable.
There is another theory which states that this has already happened."; Source[i] = "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"; ++i; Quote[i] = "'I refuse to prove that I exist' says God, 'for proof denies faith, and without faith, I am nothing.'
'Oh,' says man, 'but the Babel Fish is a dead give-away, isn't it? It proves You exist, and so therefore You don't. Q.E.D.'
'Oh, I hadn't thought of that.' says God, who promptly vanishes in a puff of logic."; Source[i] = "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge: it is those who know little, and not those who know much, who so positively assert that this or that problem will never be solved by science."; Source[i] = "Charles Darwin"; ++i; Quote[i] = "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it."; Source[i] = "W.C. Fields"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against."; Source[i] = "W.C. Fields"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people."; Source[i] = "W.C. Fields"; ++i; Quote[i] = "I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food."; Source[i] = "W.C. Fields"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Prayers never bring anything… They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Christmas."; Source[i] = "W.C. Fields"; ++i; Quote[i] = "It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to."; Source[i] = "W.C. Fields"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Start every day off with a smile and get it over with."; Source[i] = "W.C. Fields"; ++i; Quote[i] = "It is fear that first brought gods into the world."; Source[i] = "Petronius Arbiter, Satyricon"; ++i; Quote[i] = "I would suggest the taxation of all property equally whether church or corporation."; Source[i] = "Ulysses S. Grant"; ++i; Quote[i] = "I think that in the discussion of natural problems we ought to begin not with the Scriptures, but with experiments, and demonstrations."; Source[i] = "Galileo Galilei"; ++i; Quote[i] = "In questions of science, the authority of a thousand is not worth the humble reasoning of a single individual."; Source[i] = "Galileo Galilei"; ++i; Quote[i] = "It is surely harmful to souls to make it a heresy to believe what is proved."; Source[i] = "Galileo Galilei"; ++i; Quote[i] = "It vexes me when they would constrain science by the authority of the Scriptures, and yet do not consider themselves bound to answer reason and experiment."; Source[i] = "Galileo Galilei"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Stephen Hawking's ambitions:
Know how the universe began.
Know what happens inside black holes.
To understand women."; Source[i] = " "; ++i; Quote[i] = "You miss 100% of the shots you never take."; Source[i] = "Wayne Gretzky"; ++i; Quote[i] = "By the age of 18, the average American has witnessed 200,000 acts of violence on television, most of them occurring during Game 1 of the NHL playoff series."; Source[i] = "Steve Rushin"; ++i; Quote[i] = "You're playing worse every day and right now you're playing like the middle of next week."; Source[i] = "Herb Brooks"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Wars over religion are like arguing whether Santa Claus wears glasses all the time, or just for reading."; Source[i] = "Me"; ++i; Quote[i] = "It's times like these that I thank god I'm an atheist."; Source[i] = "Me"; ++i; Quote[i] = "You have as much chance of finding good science in the Bible as you do of finding a good creme brulee recipe there."; Source[i] = "Me"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Religion is the human race's worst invention."; Source[i] = "Me"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Jerry Falwell and the Moral Majority are the biggest threats to freedom in the world today."; Source[i] = "Me, [1980]"; ++i; Quote[i] = "You know, the very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common. They don't alter their views to fit the facts. They alter the facts to fit their views. Which can be uncomfortable if you happen to be one of the facts that needs altering."; Source[i] = "Dr. Who"; ++i; Quote[i] = "A straight line may be the shortest distance between two points, but it is by no means the most interesting."; Source[i] = "Dr. Who"; ++i; Quote[i] = "For some people, small, beautiful events are what life is all about!"; Source[i] = "Dr. Who"; ++i; Quote[i] = "There is no indignity in being afraid to die, but there is a terrible shame in being afraid to live."; Source[i] = "Dr. Who"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Everything that happens in life has a scientific explanation -- if you look for it."; Source[i] = "Dr. Who"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Our lives are different from anybody else's. That's the exciting thing. Nobody in the universe can do what we're doing!"; Source[i] = "Dr. Who"; ++i; Quote[i] = "The trouble with computers, of course, is that they're very sophisticated idiots."; Source[i] = "Dr. Who"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Bad laws were made to be broken."; Source[i] = "Dr. Who"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Have you noticed how people's intellectual curiosity declines sharply the moment they start waving guns about?"; Source[i] = "Dr. Who"; ++i; Quote[i] = "We're all basically primeval slime with ideas above its station."; Source[i] = "Dr. Who"; ++i; Quote[i] = "First things first, but not necessarily in that order."; Source[i] = "Dr. Who"; ++i; Quote[i] = "If the account given in Genesis is really true, ought we not, after all, to thank this serpent? He was the first schoolmaster, the first advocate of learning, the first enemy of ignorance, the first to whisper in human ears the sacred word liberty, the creator of ambition, the author of modesty, of inquiry, of doubt, of investigation, of progress and of civilization."; Source[i] = "Robert G. Ingersoll, 1872"; ++i; Quote[i] = "One good schoolmaster is worth a thousand priests."; Source[i] = "Robert G. Ingersoll, 1881"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."; Source[i] = "George Burns"; ++i; Quote[i] = "I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life."; Source[i] = "George Burns"; ++i; Quote[i] = "I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate."; Source[i] = "George Burns"; ++i; Quote[i] = "If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age."; Source[i] = "George Burns"; ++i; Quote[i] = "The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible."; Source[i] = "George Burns"; ++i; Quote[i] = "You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old."; Source[i] = "George Burns"; ++i; Quote[i] = "The government of the United States is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion."; Source[i] = "George Washington, Treaty of Tripoli, 1796"; ++i; Quote[i] = "If 50 million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."; Source[i] = "Anatole France"; ++i; Quote[i] = "The doctrine that the earth is neither the center of the universe nor immovable, but moves even with a daily rotation, is absurd, and both philosophically and theologically false, and at the least an error of faith."; Source[i] = "Catholic Church's decision against Galileo Galilei"; ++i; Quote[i] = "The earth is flat, and anyone who disputes this claim is an atheist who deserves to be punished."; Source[i] = "Muslim religious edict, 1993 Sheik Abdel-Aziz Ibn Baaz Supreme religious authority, Saudi Arabia"; ++i; Quote[i] = "If God can do anything he can make a stone so heavy that even he can't lift it. Then there is something God cannot do, he cannot lift the stone. Therefore God does not exist."; Source[i] = "Lucretius, Roman poet"; ++i; Quote[i] = "...And whereas it has also come to the knowledge of the said Congregation that the Pythagorean doctrine - which is false and altogether opposed to the Holy Scripture - of the motion of the Earth and the immobility of the Sun, which is also taught by Nicolaus Copernicus in De Revolutionibus orbium coelestium, and by Diego de Zuiga on Job, is now being spread abroad and accepted by many... Therefore, in order that this opinion may not insinuate itself any further to the prejudice of Catholic truth, the Holy Congregation has decreed that the said Nicolaus Copernicus, De Revolutionibus orbium, and Diego de Zuiga, On Job, be suspended until they are corrected."; Source[i] = "Decree of the Roman Catholic Congregation of the Index condemning 'De Revolutionibus', March 5, 1616"; ++i; Quote[i] = "I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours."; Source[i] = "Stephen F. Roberts"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Everything has a natural explanation. The moon is not a god but a great rock and the sun a hot rock."; Source[i] = "Anaxagorus, ca. 475 BC"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Primus in orbe deos facit timor. (Fear created the first gods in the world.)"; Source[i] = "Caecilius Statius (220-168 B.C.)"; ++i; Quote[i] = "I did not see why the schoolmaster should be taxed to support the priest, and not the priest the schoolmaster."; Source[i] = "Henry David Thoreau"; ++i; Quote[i] = "I have encountered a few creationists and because they were usually nice, intelligent people, I have been unable to decide whether they were really mad, or only pretending to be mad. If I was a religious person, I would consider creationism nothing less than blasphemy. Do its adherents imagine that God is a cosmic hoaxer who has created that whole vast fossil record for the sole purpose of misleading mankind?"; Source[i] = "Arthur C. Clarke"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful."; Source[i] = "Seneca the Younger (4? B.C. - 65 A.D.)"; ++i; Quote[i] = "One Galileo in two thousand years is enough."; Source[i] = "Pope Pius XII"; ++i; Quote[i] = "To assert that the earth revolves around the sun is as erroneous as to claim that Jesus was not born of a virgin."; Source[i] = "Cardinal Bellarmino 1615, during the trial of Galileo"; ++i; Quote[i] = "Secular schools can never be tolerated because such schools have no religious instruction, and a general moral instruction without a religious foundation is built on air; consequently, all character training and religion must be derived from faith . . . we need believing people."; Source[i] = "Adolf Hitler"; ++i; Quote[i] = "So far as religion of the day is concerned, it is a damned fake… Religion is all bunk."; Source[i] = "Thomas Edison"; ++i; Quote[i] = "The church says the earth is flat, but I know that it is round, for I have seen the shadow on the moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the church."; Source[i] = "Ferdinand Magellan"; ++i; Quote[i] = "The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the Supreme Being as His father, in the womb of a virgin will be classed with the fable of the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter."; Source[i] = "Thomas Jefferson"; ++i; Quote[i] = "The divorce between church and state ought to be absolute. It ought to be absolute. It ought to be so absolute that no church property anywhere, in any state, or in any nation, should be exempt from taxation, for if you exempt the church property of any church organization, to that extent you impose tax upon the whole community."; Source[i] = "President James A. Garfield"; ++i; //then do the work var rand = (now.getMilliseconds())%Quote.length; document.writeln("

Random Quote:
\"" + Quote[rand] + "\"
"); document.writeln(" - " + Source[rand] + "

");